Your answers indicated that you leaned towards the obedient outcomes.
This is not a bad thing or a good thing necessarily. This does not even mean that you are well behaved! (some people who act like angles are anything but angels.) It also is not a contest between good and bad. Believing that successful people work hard is an obedient belief that was probably ingrained into your psyche during childhood. There are positive benefits for obedience towards that mindset. Lets run through examples of obedient outcomes.
Remember the question of steering your child's decision making process? If you answered that you would steer them, than that means you are being obedient to your beliefs. You believe that the kid who is good at math should be encouraged to consider a career in finance. MOST PEOPLE DO, THIS IS NOT A BAD THING. It is just an obedience to the lessons you were taught growing up.
Remember the mantra question? Do you follow good rules? Did you say it is not your fault? Are you an emotional support team mostly? Those types of responses are obedient to the rules you grew up learning, that is not a bad thing, as many rules have many good reasons behind them.
Remember the belief question? Many would never say that life is just as good with a cognitive disability. Most would agree that it is an unfair hardship that stays with you for life. Maintaining that belief is obedient to the general consensus.
Remember the authorities question...yeah that one is obvious.
SO WHY IS THIS IMPORTANT?
If it is common to think that people with cognitive injuries are destined to suffer, and if you think you know what is best for your cognitively challenged child beyond their judgement, well that is normal. BUT how do you know unless you went through it yourself? Somethings are the same, and some are different. If you tell them a regular story, then you are setting them up for regular results. How can they enjoy regular results if they don't have the benefit of a regular start? Most often, it does not end fairly.
In some cases a traditional lesson is not bad. in some cases, it is detrimental to your child in ways that wouldn't make sense to the "regular" parent. For instance, "Regular" students have a different balance with effort and reward that manifests drastically over time. They have to work 10 X harder than the "regular" kid next to them, just to get a bad grade in school, for instance. If you are a regular person who never had to fight that obvious and relentless battle, how would you know how to navigate that? Do you expect that all the lessons you were taught are equally valuable and correct for them too? I can tell you from experience that it hurts...I can also tell you how to navigate that in a way that sets you up for amazing success later in life.
The mantra in my childhood was, in a lot of ways, of disobedience. We did religiously follow orders with thankful obedience to speech pathologists. However, I was disobedient to others such as the doctor who said I was destined for life-long struggle.
Here is the biggest takeaway:
DISOBEDIENCE WAS ESSENTIAL FOR MY SUCCESS!
If you are always obedient, then you will never break though and achieve odds defying success. Obedience supports conventional results. You can't defy conventional results with obedience.
The belief at home was one of success and perseverance. The rules were only meant to be followed if they made sense. I was also at times innocently steered in a negative way, and you can read an example I wrote HERE.
There are good times to be obedient and there are bad times to be obedient. The choice is yours. I am so passionate about sharing because the mix of obedience and disobedience was one of the greatest catalysts of my success.
WHEN SHOULD YOU BE OBEDIENT, AND WHEN SHOULD YOU BE DISOBEDIENT?!?
It is a tough question on it's own, and even tougher when you consider all the variations of each persons situation. That is why I built "The Perception Effect." It is a two month program that meets once per week, and walks you through each step. Instead of trying to make a one size fits all approach, you instead learn the tools and techniques, so that you can also enjoy the same odds defying success that I enjoyed. I attest this sequence of lessons to being the rocket fuel I needed to turn myself around from another struggling student with an impairment into a successful individual. The obedience/disobedience exercise is only one example of these fundamental lessons. Click here to learn more!